MEDITATION IS BETTER THAN MEDICATION
‘THE APPROACH TO THE NUMINOUS IS THE REAL THERAPY. AND IN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ATTAIN THE NUMINOUS EXPERIENCE, YOU ARE RELEASED FROM THE CURSE OF PATHOLOGY. ‘
This beautifully poetic quote by Jung I interpret as,
Stay at peace or life will fuck you up.
It feels like in London, where everyone is constantly running around like busy little ants 🐜 people forget the power of just being fucking still.
I am defiantly one of these people, with a continuously travelling mind and a bazillion ideas 💡 struggling to pierce through the surface I have to really discipline myself into taking time to chill out.
Without this time neurosis runs riot in my head and I start obsessing, controlling, sometimes paralysis through analysis peeks its ugly head through the cranial curtain or some days I sink through a giant pit of the earth 🌍 surrounded by webs of roots amongst all my familiar friends the worms, the deaf and blind wrigglers, sucked down in the depths of disassociation.
I am passionate and sensitive, these traits can get the better of the worse of me at any given moment. When they are the worse I have tried desperately to control them through drawing through the night, organising and arranging things, inhaling icecream, getting it out of me, railing ketamine, lost in lalaland, gimme all the vodka, cruisin for a bruising, no food no water no sleep, fucking 4eva, celibate monk, death by cardio, Xanax sloth, getting sliced up, tattooing large sections of myself without enough space inbetween sessions to heal, ‘no tears for the creatures of the night’..essentially turning up the volume of feeling till it’s deafening and then suddenly putting the world on mute. Most of these practices I’ve since managed to handle or overcome but not all just yet and some of them have a nasty habit of creeping back up on me if I let them.
When I am passionate and sensitive for the better I am creating consciously in ways that illuminate my heart. I listen, I laugh a lot, I be a silly monkey 🐒 I figure out new ways to love myself and then share this love with those around me. I appreciate the smallest gestures. I tattoo with love, foresight and greater discipline. I fuck intensely with strong connection and awareness. I read more and picture the words like moving pictures in my head. I notice more, I smile at strangers, I intuit hugely and build connections. I communicate with curiosity and good intention. I am kind to my body, I eat when I’m supposed to and stay hydrated. I trust. I think clearly. I am compassionate. I do rituals and focus on intentions and practise different forms of meditation according to how I feel and what the day has in store.
Without meditation I drown in this city that’s the way it’s always been so I make damn sure it’s a daily discipline for the sake of my health and happiness. To evolve and become immersed in things greater than myself.
So every day I do at least 20 minutes whenever I can fit it in. There are different ways I do it but most days begin like this. Focusing on intentions for the day for a few minutes and then drifting off into not thinking at all. And then back to watching thoughts swim by like a game of tennis. It takes a while to get used to and some days I don’t force it if I feel I’m too tired or something. It’s like lifting weights you gotta work that meditation muscle to build that brain into a better guardian over all that you are. I find the more I train myself mentally and physically the more rewarding and satisfying my life becomes. Everything shifts in to focus. I find myself having more commonalities with the people I’m spending time with than I recognised before, everything becomes brighter. I’m listening and I’m focused and I’m really learning in a peaceful way from the world around me.
I try to put my sole focus into one thing at a time, limiting the amount of time I spend on the phone so that I don’t, as my good friend @awakentotheone put it ‘scroll my life away’.... I realise these sound like the most simple and obvious things to do in order to make yrself feel better and yet it’s really helping me unfuck myself right now and get through February. Sometimes simplicity is key.
Recently I started writing down daily between 5 and 10 moments where I really felt present and in tune with what was going on around me. Only started that a few days ago and already seeing deliciously beneficial results which is why I’m writing this now.
If anyone can identify with feeling alone, lost or afraid or have repeat it I’ve cycles of damaging behaviour then I really recommend this. In no way do I claim to be a mental health advocate, I have stresses and struggles like we all do and there are still days where I don’t handle them so well. In this moment I feel good and this is worth writing about.